Guys....I'm gone

[The Mirror]

You shoulda done more......

If you woulda been pissing blood last year, I (as a friend) would have insisted you get it checked out, and threatened to ignore you until you did...

But you didn't care.... You were too busy spreading corporate propaganda

Btw...Is this how you spend your Saturday nights, Mr Excitment?

You guys were supposed to help me...... Everybody else urged and begged me to go see a doctor, you guys coulda been the straw that broke the camels back, but noooo-

You were too wrapped up in meaningless culture war issues that were designed to distract you from real issues... You pole smokers!

God Bless America

[The Mirror]

When I married my wife she was a liberal, now she is more conservative than I am.

You know....She married you, so forgive me if I don't hold her opinion in high regard- She has a history of very very bad decisions.

Now can we get back to the subject? Its about me and my serious problems.. ok?

[Tarryall]

Does your wife hurt herself rolling her eyes at your constant drama?

[The Mirror]

Does your wife hurt herself rolling her eyes at your constant drama?

No, she's crying, you stupid son of a bitch! and she's been a saint- She was at the beauty salon when I had my accident- When she saw on Life 360 that I was at the hospital she jumped out of the salon chair and came to in the emergency room- and never left my side- After my botched surgery I came back to my room and I just shook my head at her to indicate that something was drastically wrong, I knew something wasn't right. They started running saline solution through my bladder and all the fluid just filled my body cavity from the holes the surgeon cut into my bladder- I also had a traumatic injury to my esophagus and air was leaking into my body. My lungs could not expand and contract and I went into full respiratory failure and was rushed to the ICU. I could only have one visitor in the ICU, but I woke up and all my kids were surrounding the bed and touching my arms and crying. I was on my death bed- I was one of those 100's of thousands of Americans who "died from complications from surgery" . When I woke up a day later and my day shift nurses all came in they all acted surprised that I was alive... I bitched about something and they all said "YOU SURVIVED!" as if they all thought I wasn't gonna. You know-nobody tells you shit- I had between through the lines to gauge how bad it really was. While in the ICU my wife had to leave my room at 8pm but she never left the hospital.... for 3 weeks, sleeping in a chair down the hall. My kids brought her changes of clothes and she was able to sleep with me when I returned to a regular room after 3 days. They kicked me out of the ICU when I started betting horses on my phone- They had TVG channel in the ICU room! I knew my wife was a great one, but I never knew any wife was this great. How could I ever have thought about another woman in my life? Its just shameful.

Every time she gets me coffee or broth and pills or anything, I ask for a kiss- and her soft lips on mine just for a second, heals me- I feel it- It releases dopamine's I think, it powers me up. I do all the bills so I've been showing her how to pay them and where all the money is-just in case.

I told every contractor that came over in the last few years that I'm doing all this stuff (new no maintenance decks, no maintenance 100 year steel roof, all new Pela windows, new floors and remolded bathrooms) that I'm doing all this so if I die, my wife doesn't have to. So I knew it, I knew it. She's had a lupus like thing for 15 years and she could also go at anytime- And waiting on me hand and foot is hard- When we made our getaway from When we made our getaway from the hospital I told her to "run" for the car! Her arms and legs where pumping but she wasn't going anywhere- I held elevator while I pulled out my IV's and left the bottles there, I come out of the elevator and even at her full speed she was barely down the hall- I had to laugh, it was adorable watching her try her best. Her hips and lower back hurt from the Hashimoto's/lupus- I don't ever want to be a burden to her and one way or the other, I won't be. I already gave her my burial instructions- Don't have anyone look at my body, cremate me immediately and throw my ashes in the first garbage can you see. And "don't you dare marry another guy unless he has more money than you and keep finances separate at all times". She's gonna get 15 million in a lawsuit.. You flap jack flippin flunkies!

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

[kizma buudi]

Lupus is a very hard thing to go through alone. You need to man up and get well and take care of her, you pussy!

[The Mirror]

Lupus is a very hard thing to go through alone. You need to man up and get well and take care of her, you pussy!

She was diagnosed 15 years ago- when i say anything about it she says stuff like if a had lupus I'd be dead by now- and she's right about that. She went to a new doctor for an unrelated issue recently and the doctor took one look at her face and said "how long have you had Lupus". It was blotchy- I can't see it , it looks like Rosey cheeks to me, but the doctor recognized it instantly. She's the queen of denial- She says it's Hashimoto's disease which is similar- Nobody would know anything is wrong with her, but I see her struggling around the house- she is still beautiful, she doesn't have one wrinkle, her 80 year old mom doesn't either.

As far as being a "pussy" I plead guilty- I thought only a woman could bring me down to my knees, but I was wrong. This has made the happiest guy in the world, the saddest guy in the world. I'm not handing it well- My son told me yesterday that when I asked for a gun in the ICU "it pissed me off, those were my only feelings, dad". Why should I live in hell for everybody else? I could be a burden and everybody is taken care of financially- It's not like I'm leaving little kids. I told the surgeon last week that saving my bladder is saving my life, because I'm not going on without one. And I mean it- That's the way it is- I applied for an appointment at the Mayo clinic in Scottsdale Arizona and they blew me off, and I promised to pay cash- so I'm stuck with the people here.

I was the king, I was the protector, it's one of the reasons my wife married me- that, and she said it was never boring with me. With this catheter and piss bag I feel weak, I couldn't fight off an intruder, I haven't even been outside since I've been home- I've lost everything that I was. I don't want to be remembered like this- I'll just quit while I'm on top... I think it's selfish to go on if other people have to take care of you 24/7 or make accommodations your problem- I help and protect others, and don't want others helping and protecting me- You would have to be an alpha male to understand-

And godam your soul for not encouraging me to to the doctor when I told you about my issue last year

[Tarryall]

Getting old sucks. So we don't mind dying as much?

[The Mirror]

Getting old sucks. So we don't mind dying as much?

That's what I told my kids yesterday.. I'm tired, I'm in pain- Death doesn't sound so bad when your 62- I only had one thing left on my "bucket list" and it was unattainable anyway

[Tarryall]

My dad's last couple years were that way. Asking why hadn't the Lord taken him away yet. He was ready to go.

[The Mirror]

My dad's last couple years were that way. Asking why hadn't the Lord taken him away yet. He was ready to go.

"The Lord" has allowed people to be tortured since the beginning of time- That should be one clue to you that there is no lord, or that he's a total asshole. I and I alone control my life